so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
