Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
