i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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