I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
