if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
