The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Randomize
