My friends, they love my intelligence
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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