are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
