marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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