we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
