So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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