Swine flu. Run for my life!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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