she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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