We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
