It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
