it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
