he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
