Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She told me I should be a condom model.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
