When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
