The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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