It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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