Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
