he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize