I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
