I hate your face
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
