apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
