ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
