I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
