Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
