i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
