Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize