he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
