come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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