She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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