You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
