This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
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Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
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The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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