yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
