You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
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I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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