i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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