I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
