does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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