can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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