The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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