All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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