U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
kristin has been a bad kristin
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
