Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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