You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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