I wish you could order shots online.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
