You're my little dorito
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound