I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
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I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
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Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo