I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
