Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
