well I can't set my house on fire every night
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize