I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
