Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize