Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
