He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
