Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
