i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
