um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How does one acquire holy water?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
