Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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