THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
