I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
