you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
