She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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