I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
